


Jane Newton is the best Newton (according to all the women in Duck's life)

by mydear_awatson



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-11-07 22:20:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17969123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mydear_awatson/pseuds/mydear_awatson
Summary: Duck+Puberty+Super Powers=Jane's massive headache and an existential crisis for JunoJuno likes the densest piece of shit teenage boy in all of Kepler, West Virginia. Lucky for her, Jane Newton is on her side to keep her brother from making the biggest mistake of his life and breaking his best friends heart.





	Jane Newton is the best Newton (according to all the women in Duck's life)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! This is the very first fan fiction that I have written, and I mostly wrote it as a means to amuse myself and my friends while we listen to TAZ Amnesty. Please let me know what you all think!

Some of the first things that Duck noticed when he became the ‘chosen one’, was that he could keep up with the jocks in gym class on the mile run. He could compete against the ROTC kids in push-ups and pull-ups. He was surprised at how heavy a hit he could take against the other kids while playing hockey in the old abandoned department store, he noticed that he was stronger than he was before the whole ‘Minerva’ thing. But he knew that he was still a kid, so most of it he just chalked it up to excess testosterone, but he liked his new strength, but he was also a little bit afraid of it. Duck was a little scared that he would end up like the Hulk or something, Duck was less scared of hurting the other kids so much as he was of hurting his sister or anyone else he cared about.

Duck, now, remembers how oblivious he was a kid, he claims it was too much pot and a few too many hits to the head. It took him a while after his new-found strength and agility, to realize that it wasn’t just him that was taking notice, the jocks took notice, his friends took notice too. But most surprising to Duck was how the girls, not only in his friend group, but throughout the school began to notice Duck Newton. The kid with a weird nickname that no one knew where it had come from.

Duck was walking through the halls after lunch and notice girls whispering to each other only to stop as he walked by and give him a flirty wave. He gave the girls a smile and shaking his head he looked over at his longtime friend Juno, he frowned as he noticed that she was rolling her eyes. It wasn’t in the same way that she would do when Duck tried to tell a joke or lie. No this was her annoyed face, but was it directed to him or the girls? And honestly, he was too scared to ask. So, he just nudged her with his elbow towards their class, she looked up at him and gave him a smirk, though Duck could tell it wasn’t genuine.

They made their way to their usual seats, towards the back of Mr. Cooper’s pre-calc class. Duck could tell the Juno was still miffed as she sat down without a word and began to pull out her notebook. Duck never liked when Juno was mad, especially if she was mad at him, it made him uneasy. They talked about everything together, (well just about everything) and he knew that whatever had gotten her upset wouldn’t last long, but he still didn’t like the idea of no knowing what had gotten her so upset. Unable to focus on Mr. Cooper’s rambling about some equation, Duck flipped his notebook to the back where he and Juno usually wrote notes to each other during class.

_ >>Are you mad at me? _

_ >>No dingus im not _

_ >>Are you sure? You seem pretty mad _

_ >>im fine _

_ >>I don’t believe you. C’mon juno tell me whats wrong _

_ >>DON’T Duck. We’ll talk about this later now pay attention this is going to be on the test _

Duck looked over at Juno with a somewhat pleading look in his eye, she just gave him a hard stare back and nodded towards Mr. Cooper. Sighing Duck closed his notebook and put his head on the desk and began watching the clock for the end of the day so that he could finally force Juno to speak to him.

After another 40 minutes had passed the final bell rang, Duck and Juno packed up and made their way to the parking lot so that they could then head to the elementary school to pick up Duck’s little sister. They had barely made it out of the building when a girl, probably a sophomore, came up to Duck batting her eyes and flipping her hair. Completely ignoring Juno, she said,

“Hi Duck, so do you have any plans for this weekend?” Juno just rolled her eyes again. She gave Duck a stern look, the seemed to communicate  _ let’s go! We need to go!  _ Confused at the forwardness of the underclassmen and at Juno’s anger stuttered out “Uh…Uh well it is only Tuesday, but my plans usually involve studying and taking my sister to soccer practice. So… honestly…umm I’m sorry I didn’t get your name.”

The girl looked somewhat crestfallen when Duck asked her name. A quick glance to Juno and saw that she was trying to suppress a smirk, “It’s uh Brittney Hollings. But you know what? You seem busy so I’ll just go now. Thanks.” And just as she appeared, she was gone just as fast. Dumbfounded Duck just stood there, unable to process what in the hell just happened. His only pull back to reality was the sound of Juno laughing, he turned to look at her and saw that she was doubled over. The sound of Juno laughing was therapeutic, Duck shook his head and began to walk to his truck leaving Juno still trying to catch her breath. 

Juno pulled herself into the truck still laughing,“Oh my God! I don’t know what’s funnier her piss poor attempt at asking you out or the fact that you had no idea how to respond!” she managed to say between breaths.

“Shut up Juno. I already feel stupid.”

“As you should! But it is cute that an underclassman has a crush on you.” She gave him a smirk “Now come on, let’s go get Jane.”

Duck just shook his head and turned the engine over and they began to make their way over to Kepler Elementary.Duck pulled into the ‘mom line’ at the elementary school entrance to wait for Jane to be let out, he noticed how quiet Juno had been. Once he parked the truck, he looked over at her the first thing he noticed was that she had her ‘overthinking’ face on, the second thing Duck noticed was that when she saw him looking at her Juno quickly turned to look out the window.

“Juno, are you gonna tell me what got you so mad earlier?” Duck sighed “was it something I did? It ain't like you to not tell me when I pissed you off.”

“You didn’t piss me off Duck. And really don’t worry about it just know it wasn’t you.” Juno replied still looking out the window. Duck unable to come up with a response, they sat in silence. After a few minutes Juno spoke up with a smile, “It’s funny really, how you don’t seem to notice that girls are taking a notice to you as of late.” she gave a chuckle “you either really don’t care or really have no fucking clue that it’s happening.”

Duck scoffed “Juno I think I would know if a girl was into me. Now that being said I don’t think I would know what to do with said information.” he turned further in his seat to look at her “And honestly Juno, I don’t think these girls you’re talking about, are really interested in me they probably want to get to any one of the guys we tend to hang out with. I’m not that guy Juno.” He turned back in his seat. “But if you happen to come across a girl willing to go for me, then shit I wouldn’t mind taking her up on the offer if you know what I mean.” Duck laughed but as he did he felt Juno give him a punch to the arm.

“You’re a piece of shit Duck Newton!” Juno laughed shaking her head.

“Aww c’mon Juno-” Duck was cut off as he saw Jane running up to the truck.

“Hi Jane.” both Duck and Juno said as Juno opened the door, hopped out and helped Jane into the bench of the truck to sit between her and Duck.

“Whatcha got there Janie?” Juno asked as the three of them settled into the truck and Duck began to pull away from the school towards home.

“Oh, it’s a flyer! Our music class is going to perform at the high school during the homecoming assembly next week! Isn’t that cool?!”

“Yeah it is Jane. I guess we won’t be skipping this year huh Juno?” Duck gave a quick glance past Jane to Juno.

She was looking at Jane, “Yeah, I guess we will have to go.” Juno looked up at Duck, “And besides we are seniors this year I think it’s kinda mandatory for us to at least go to one during high school.”

Jane was bouncing in her seat. “Yay! I’m so glad you guys are going to be there!” Duck and Juno continued to listen to Jane list off all the songs that the elementary school choir was going to sing. Duck could see from his peripheral that Juno was looking at Jane as she spoke but kept glancing up at Duck. She looked like she was going to ask him something, but she just kept talking to Jane. Duck furrowed his brow and shook his head, he figured that whatever Juno needed to say could wait until Jane was out of ear shot.

As they got closer to the house, Jan said “I can’t wait ‘til  _ I’m  _ in high school! Then I can go to the homecoming dance! Oh, and even prom!”

“I don’t know Jane, they aren’t really all that special.” Duck replied with a smirk.

Juno gave Duck a pointed look, “And how would you know? You haven’t been to a single school dance since sixth grade when you asked Heather Bartholomew, who mind you was an eighth grader, to slow dance and you ended up tripping her when you stepped on her toes.” Juno and Jane broke into a fit of laughter at Duck’s expense, Jane looked over at Duck “you never told me that story Duck.”

As the truck pulled into the driveway of the Newton household Duck looked over at the two girls in his truck, “Of course not! It is something I don’t really want to remember.” he looked down at his lap. “and-HEY! You were like four at the time.” He looked back up and then pointed a finger at Juno “And Juno we agreed never to talk about that night” Duck gave Juno an angry look that didn’t hold too much weight behind it as it quickly gave way to a big grin as he joined the girls in laughing at the memory of tripping poor Heather Bartholomew.

“Duck you’ve known me long enough that I  _ never _ agree to not talking about your embarrassing memories. I hold them as a means to blackmail you in the future.” She gave him a dramatic wink.

Duck rolled his eyes as he got out of the truck, Jane and Juno followed suit still laughing. After unlocking the door, Jane and Duck’s parents were still at work, the three of them stepped inside. Juno took a breath, she wasn’t sure why she was nervous, but she swallowed her pride and asked with a small smile, “So Duck, what  _ are  _ we doing homecoming night?” Jane began to bounce once again, she had the biggest smile on her face as she looked at Duck as he turned and gave Juno a shrug. “I mean what we always do…right? You know us and the other guys hanging out at the department store, and doing…” he shot a glance to Jane “what…we uh…normally do?”

Juno couldn’t help but let her face fall in disappointment, she immediately felt stupid, just like that dumb little sophomore. She felt her face grow warm but feeling both of the Newton sibling’s eyes on her she gave herself a quick shake, “I think I left my backpack in the truck.” Juno rushed out of the house.

Confused Duck just stared at where Juno had been standing, he had noticed how her smile had fallen, but even more confusing to him was  _ why  _ Juno had asked about homecoming. His face must have conveyed his confusion, “You are easily the stupidest boy on the face of this Earth!” Jane all but shouted.

“What do you mean?”

“UGH! SHE WAS ASKING YOU TO TAKE HER TO HOMECOMING STUPID!” Jane stormed off up the stairs up to her room.

“Where are you going?” Duck called after her

“To my room! I need to practice, and  _ you _ need to fix this dummy I like Jane and I don’t want you to screw this up!”

Duck continued to stand in the kitchen, looking between the stairs where his ten-year-old sister just yelled at him and the front door where his best friend was just outside of, unsure of what to do. 


End file.
